When Life Gives you Lemons




I experienced another night of no sleep. Well, not quite no sleep; but almost. But at least last night I had the presence of mind to stumble out of bed and grab my favorite book and allow the Author of Life to speak to my very tired soul. He spoke through the words of Psalm 46 and I know that, yes, God IS a safe place to hide.  And I found that He IS  ready to help when we need Him. He IS.  Not He 'will be'. But, He IS. Present. Now. Available. His love is immeasurable.  As is His grace and mercy and sovereignty and power and... and .....and...  So as He lavishes love and grace and mercy to me, His beloved daughter, I need to lavish love more freely on those around me. I've been reading that and hearing that a lot in the past 48 hours. Every program I've watched yesterday and today have been reiterating that to me.  "If you love me," Jesus says,"Show it by doing what I've told you.....The person who knows my commandments and keeps them, that's who loves Me...."

And His commandments?  love your enemies. bless those who persecute you. That's a hard one.  Bless those who persecute you? Not that I'm being persecuted. But when I am I'm supposed to bless the ones who persecute me?  Yes.

But, back to the love that is gracious and merciful. The undeserved love. God reaching down and loving the unloveable. I will never understand such love this side of heaven.  But it is because of His love that I have an example of how to  love graciously and mercifully.  Isn't parentood a lifetime of loving that way? A lifetime of  instilling such love in our children so that they know, no matter what, that they are treasured and loved even when parents are disappointed in their actions? That's how God loves. No matter what I do, no matter what sin I commit, no matter how much I disappoint Him with my thoughts and words  and actions and lack of actions, He loves.

When the police car pulled up in front of  the town hall on Monday, and the policeman got out of his car and walked into the building where the library is located, I had no idea he would be coming in to talk to me about my Dear Son. It was, for me, totally unexpected.  Shocking even. My son? My son had been driving recklessly, speeding, putting the lives of not only his passengers, but the public in jeopardy by his actions. Driving with more than his allowed 1 passenger because he's a novice driver. And reported by more than 1 person. Thankfully.  I am so grateful for the people who reported him.  I am so thankful that nobody was hurt. I am so thankful for the compassion and kindness and  mercy of the policeman. Deserved mercy? No.  But that's what mercy is. I am thankful this happened in a small town where everybody knows everybody. And I know they care. And I know that most everybody will be rooting for Dear Son.  Hoping that he learned a lesson through this.  Hoping that he'll learn and not do this again. That's what my mother-heart is praying anyway.

And that's why I haven't been sleeping. I have to admit my pride was hurt. What would people think of me? And I'm sorry to admit that my selfishness overshadowed my concern for Dear Son.  What was he thinking?  What was he feeling? I was angry. I should have shown more mercy and compassion.  I regret that. I'm praying about that too. I'm hoping that God will take these 'sour lemons' from my life and turn them into thirst-quenching lemonade. I know He can. I'm praying that He will. And I know that even as He is doing a work in my life, He is doing a work in Dear Son's life.  He is turning the lemons into lemonade. He is turning a boy into a young man.  A young man that I love and am proud to call my Dear Son.