A Year in the Life

I was surprised to discover that it has been almost a year since my last posting. 10 months to be exact.
Not that there hasn't been lots to write about.  There has. Not that I haven't had time to write. I have. So what has spurned me on to write now?
Nothing in particular.
I guess I'll fill the gap. The very huge gap. Small in light of eternity though.
I'll give a brief glimpse through the seasons. That's easiest.

Spring 2014

Seeding came and went. It was a little more daunting than the spring before simply because DS was away at school. He was, by spring, into his second semester of civil engineering, and by all accounts, enjoying it. Daunting because the brunt of all the work fell to  My Sweetheart. I was of little assistance, other than perhaps providing shuttle service from 1 piece of land to the next. My "farming breaks' came on weekends when DS was home. That was definitely a huge PLUS to studying so close to home. A PLUS for me, that is. Truth be told, it was a PLUS for all of us.
DS finished his term the end of April, and was thrilled to begin an 8 month work term at The City. The City that is close by. A bonus, even though he was living in his own little nest, close to the farm, was that he was home most evenings for supper, and a few hours of 'work' help for My Sweetheart.
DD kept plugging away at school and her part time job.

Summer 2014

I suppose the highlight of the summer had to be those few days in July when the relatives, from BOTH sides of our family, descended at once. But there was a reason, or rather reasons, for the hoopla. My Mom and My Sweetheart's Dad were celebrating big milestone birthdays. My Mom didn't know she was. Hers was a surprise. Her surprise was 6 months after the fact. But in light of the fact that we surprised her royally 5 years earlier and she was adamant that we didn't do that again in the middle of winter, in the middle of a raging blizzard, we decided that a summer surprise would be just fine. And so we planned her shindig to coincide with the other honored guest, just a few days apart. My Mom's party was great. My Blue Suede Brother and his wife and daughter and grand daughter drove out from Ontario.  They were the main surprise.
My Sweetheart's Dad turned 90! Most of his siblings, along with many other relatives were here for a weekend in July. My Sweetheart's Dad had just moved into the local care centre, so it was very convenient to bring him out 'for the day'. When he went back to his 'home' the rest of us laughed and visisted, and bonfired!
The last day of the festivities proved too much for me and I came down with the worst cold of the year. The timing couldn't have been worse. We, all but DS because he had to work!, were heading with the 5th wheel to camp in Banff. I stayed in bed while DD and My Sweetheart set to work packing and organizing the camper. DD brought a friend along. Pretty soon we were off for a wonderful almost week in the mountains. I rested. We shopped. We hiked. I got better. We came home. And then harvest hit.

Fall 2014

Harvest started out not great. Rain. Dismal looking prices. Dismal looking crops. But somewhere in there a miracle happened and the dismal looking crops turned out to be better than expected and the prices turned out to be pretty good too. All in all we were blessed. Again. Very thankful to the Lord. Very thankful that harvest, which was really dragged out this year, eventually ended.
I blinked and somewhere in this season DD turned into a high school senior.
So this season has been a season of university searching and applying. How did that happen? "Turn Around" deja vu.


Winter 2014

I tend to think of the beginning of December as the official kick off to winter. And what  better way to bring in the season than with a trip to Disneyland? I had been very lucky in October and won a 50-50 draw at a hockey game in the City. The day after the win My Sweetheart and I booked our romantic getaway to Disneyland.  Just the 2 of us. For the first week in December. We had to, after all, see if we would be able to survive being empty nesters. We had a great time and enjoyed each other's company. It felt weird to be there without DD and DS though.

The first week in December might not be the best time to go on a holiday.  We scrambled for the next few weeks to prepare for Christmas. We had put the tree up before the vacation, and DD had put a lot of other decorations up. But this year only 2 Christmas cards got sent out. And hardly any baking got done. Excitement was high 2 days before Christmas when DD found out she had been accepted into her first choice university! It's only a few thousand miles away from home. And  she'll be heading off before I'm ready.  Christmas came and we had a wonderful time with My Mom, My Sweethearts' Dad, my cousin, uncle, cousin's son, My Sweetheart's sister and her hubby, their son and his wife, and cute baby. All in all a great start to winter. And that brings me to the New Year.

January 2015

We rang in the New Year quietly with Our Neighbors across the Road, and My Mom. We played games and had snacks and visited.
The next day My Sweetheart and DS packed up. The 8 month work term was finished and it was time to soon head back to the Other Small City for the final year. The first Saturday in January was designated moving day.  It was also the coldest day of the winter. We moved DS into his new apartment and were on the way home shortly after lunch.
The day after that My Sweetheart and I went to visit My Sweetheart's Dad (MSD) in the Care Centre. MSD was very, very tired.  Unusually so. A few days earlier he was the 1 wheeling his own chair to his room when we went to visit. This day MSD had no strength. My Sweetheart wheeled him into his room. We sat and visited him and were concerned a little when MSD would fall asleep mid sentence. We eventually left with the reassurance we would be back very soon.
We were back sooner than we had planned.
The phone call came Monday morning, the 5th of January from the nurse who was working. We were told we had better come in soon. After phone calls and quick showers we were on our way to see MSD.
2 of my sisters in law made it to the Care Centre in the afternoon. I had spent 45 minutes, prior to their arrival, singing to My Sweetheart's Dad. I felt totally useless. But I did what I could. And that was sing.  And pray. And worship the Lord. What else could I do when I knew his time on earth was so limited?
Early that evening, surrounded by people who loved him, My Sweetheart's Dad breathed his last earthly breath. I was blessed to have spent 'homegoings' with 2 dads - My Sweetheart's and my own dad 17 years earlier.
The days following were somewhat blurred. We have been overcome with kindness and generosity of neighbors and friends. We are soon going to be planning the funeral. That is happening next month.

I will keep you posted on life on the farm a little better I hope in the next while. There will be lots happening as we live our lives on the farm.

Hope on the Highway

Gracie, our almost 8 month old bundle of raw energy goldendoodle, had surgery a couple weeks ago. THE surgery. The surgery that we let the breeders know she would have in order that we could adopt little Gracie.


Gracie HATES car rides. She started to shake as soon as we got her in the truck. Getting her in the truck was quite the ordeal. She did not want to go. Maybe if Bentley would have been in the truck... But he wasn't. Bentley and Chico were sequestered to the shop. They were miffed when they saw Gracie leave in the truck. Bentley stood  at the shop window, looked out,  and I'm sure he relayed, play by play, to Chico what was going on.  Bentley and Chico LOVE car rides.


She finally settled down. I won't say she slept.  But she did settle down. And we were finally able to enjoy the drive to the vet.


On the way I noticed, as I had every time we had driven #1 hwy west, the crosses between the highways. I wonder about the people who died there, on the highway, every time we make that trip.
I wonder, because there was more than 1 cross, if they were family members. Were they friends? Had they been laughing? Where were they going? Who was expecting them? Who is still missing them now? Who loved them?


I also noticed hope on the highway. The crosses are empty. Resurrection has taken place. The empty cross gives me hope. Hope for eternity with Jesus because of the cross. He paved the way to the Father through His sacrifice, His willing sacrifice, for all who believe in Him.


"For God loved the world so much, that he gave His Only Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish... but have everlasting life..." John 3:16


We picked Gracie up later that afternoon. She had been sedated so she slept on the way home. Bentley was ecstatic to see her. Gracie wasn't quite as thrilled to see him. He sensed something had happened to her and quickly brought her his favorite toy, laid it at her paws, and left it there.

I am Fifty

I just celebrated, this weekend, a milestone birthday. It was 1 I was not looking forward to at all. I believe I even battled some depression earlier this winter as I mulled and stewed about the big 5-0.


Now I'm wondering what all the stewing and mulling was for.


My milestone birthday, as all my previous birthdays, came and went. But it came beautifully. I had the whole weekend to ease into it. And my family and my friends helped me ease easily to this new phase of life - this "50 plus club" phase of life.


I worked on Friday at the little library down the road. Not only was DS home for the weekend, but he surprised me with a  dozen beautiful multi- colored roses when I got home from work.  And he gave me a warm, welcoming, mother-melting hug. Not only that, but My Sweetheart was barbecuing steak and baking potatoes. DD had made a salad. My Mom was out at the farm. That's how my weekend began. Beautifully. Restfully. Wonderfully. The delicious dinner was followed by a few games of dice. The evening was capped off with a movie.  I forget what it was. That must be a sign of the new '50' age.


Saturday didn't disappoint either. The weather was perfect. The boys went to the south farm to do a little work on DS's nest for a few hours before the festivities began.  DD and I charged through our house - 2 of us on a mission- to clean, tidy, make salads, and get everything ready before the guests started coming. 15 sat down to pizza and salads. Relatives, friends, neighbors. After supper, more people came for cake and visiting. It was a wonderful day.


My actual birthday was on Sunday.  My family made me a yummy Sunday brunch- home made waffles and waffle sauce with fruit, turkey bacon, pan fries, fruit smoothie, fresh coffee. DS brought My Mom out. More dice was played. The boys went back to the nest to do more feathering. DD cleaned up the kitchen.  My Mom and I went for a drive to the nest. The cupboards were ready for me to install the knobs and pulls.


After I took My Mom home, the rest of us headed to the city.  We met up with our good friends for a birthday dinner. After dinner DS headed back to school. My Sweetheart, DD and I went back to the farm. We ended the evening watching a movie. 


I'm so grateful for all I have and for all I love. I overheard My Mom tell one of my friends at my party that she has had a good life. I have too. I am blessed.  I am 50.

Life and Lemon Pie

I don't like lemonade. So, that old adage, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" simply does not cut it for me. Lemon pie is more fitting. Smooth, tart, lemony goodness on a flaky, tender crust, topped with fluffy golden-hued meringue is better.


And it is loved by so many. Not only by me. By My Mom.  My blue suede brother - I think. My Uncle Stan likes it.  He had 2 pieces of my lemon pie the other night.  My Sweetheart likes it. And My Sweetheart's Father likes it. In fact, he LOVES it. Anything lemony is a good thing for him.


My Sweetheart's Father started having health issues last fall.  Not just minor health issues.  Big health issues. From about October on he spent most of the time in different hospitals. Around Christmas time we thought, every time we went to visit him, that maybe this would be the last time. He was chauffeured many times in the past few months in an ambulance.


At his worst, we wondered if he's survive the ambulance trip.


He did. He rallied.  Prayers were answered.  Well, I know that prayers are always answered.  These particular prayers were answered in the way we like them to be answered. With more mortal life.


But with those answered prayers of more mortal  life, the family had to make some difficult decisions. The unit that My Sweetheart's Father lived in for close to 10 years was let go. His 'stuff' was divvied up. And My Sweetheart's Frail Father was moved to a long term care home an hour away. We, My Sweetheart and I, picked him up one day at the hospital in the city, and drove him to his new temporary home. On the way there, we drove past our farm- our home that has been in the family for over 100 years now.  The farm that My Sweetheart's Father grew up on, the farm where his siblings were raised, the farm where he and his late wife  raised his beautiful daughters and My Sweetheart on,  the farm where we have lived as a married couple for 18 years. As we drove past the farm I was watching him from my spot in the back seat. I took a picture of him as he was looking nostalgically down the road that he had driven hundreds of times before.  I wondered what was going through his mind . I wondered when the last time he had been out to the farm was. I know it was before Thanksgiving, but I don't remember just what day it had been.  I wondered what I had served him for a meal that day. I wish I would have given him a little bit bigger piece of dessert. My Sweetheart's Father is diabetic, and I am the one who was very strict about dessert time when he was out. I was strict about every meal when he was out. I had sugar free syrup in the cupboard for waffle brunches, sugar free ice cream in the freezer for treat nights, sugar free cookies in the pantry for times when he came out unexpectedly.


Yesterday, after church, we went to visit My Sweetheart's Father in the care home. We drove the hour down the highway, picked up Subway sandwiches and pop for DD, DS, My Sweetheart and I, and went to the care home. Along with the Subway Sandwiches, My Sweetheart had, in hand, the last piece of lemon pie that I had baked the day before.


My Sweetheart's Father doesn't have much of an appetite. But, he lit into that lemon pie. "It doesn't taste very lemony," he said to me. I guess his taste buds aren't that good. But that's okay. He had a piece of lemon pie. A big piece. And I'm glad I made lemon pie instead of lemonade.

Finding Feathers

I realize it's been quite some time since I have posted on this. Frankly, I was unable to think of anything to write about. Or so I told myself. Honestly, I think I just needed a break.
I'm back and have decided to write, but to write less often than in the past. Maybe once a week. Maybe once every two weeks. Right now, it's a 'wait and see.'


But, I am glad to be back writing. I'm happy to invite you back in to glimpses of my life.


I talked to a good friend the other day. She was a neighbor and a dear friend from church. Her and her husband moved from their farm to the big big city in January. We have another connection with them. A few years ago we bought some of their farm land. And with that  came their house. Their 'little house on the prairie.'  The views from their windows, now our windows, are breathtaking. The house is on somewhat of a little hill and the views stretch, at times, as far as the eye can see.


She, my friend, and her husband, were glad to hear that new life is being breathed into their home. Dear Son, as a matter of fact, will be living there. Soon. He is 'feathering his nest' - to quote my friend, the former house owner.


Dear Son was very happy, as were we, that he landed his co-op job, part of his schooling in civil engineering, at our near city. He'll be working there for 8 months. The bonus for us is that he will also be close enough to home to help on the farm.


As I gently shoo him from my nest, I am glad that he has his own nest that he is feathering. He's home this week for his spring break. He's busy, with mostly My Sweetheart, sometimes me, sanding and prepping and sawing and planning. Painting will be taking place soon.  The now empty house will soon be ready and welcoming it's precious cargo - my DS.

The Lotion in the Piggy

I celebrated my 4th birthday in the old Kruse Apartments. I also celebrated my birth there 4 years earlier when it was the local hospital. In the years between my birth and my birthday party a new hospital had been built and the old one had been converted to apartments. And in the winter of 1967-68 we lived in the Kruse Apartments while My Dad worked in town. Or so I've been told.

The apartment itself was tiny. It had 2 bedrooms, a small bathroom, a kitchen, and the living room, as I recall, was just like a hallway.  I remember the couch against the wall.

I'm amazed now, in retrospect, just how Mom managed to fit my birthday party gang around the kitchen table. Regardless, we did fit.  And I remember who was there. Robin, the girl who lived down the hall in another apartment, my cousins Vince and Laurie, who lived in town, my 2nd cousins Teresa and Wesley, Patti, my very first friend, and Wanda Berg.  I would have known Wanda from Sunday School. I'm not sure how Teresa and Wesley happened to be at my birthday party, but they were. And I'm glad. They didn't live in town, so I'm thinking they must have been visiting.

We had hot dogs and angel food cake. That was, after all, the traditional birthday party menu at our home. And likely there was cragmont pop. And more than likely, the pop would have been grape or orange flavoured.  The pop and the angel food was, in my opinion, the only good part of the menu. I hate hot dogs.

While I don't remember what all my gifts were at my 4th birthday party, I do remember what Wanda Berg gave me. Why I remember is beyond me. But her gift made a lasting impression so I must have really really liked it. Wanda Berg gave me a set of plastic pigs- one of them held bubble bath and the other held lotion. The other day I was trying out some new body lotion. I had picked up quite a few lotions with tantalizing names while at a mall in a nearby city. This particular one was called Sea Cotton, or something like that. When I dropped a dollop of it onto my hand and smelled it, I was transported back to 4 year old me, happily smearing the lotion from the piggy onto my hands. The smell was exactly the same.

It's amazing how different sounds and sights and smells we experience now can evoke memories of the past. I smell Jergens lotion and I can close my eyes and imagine I'm back in the old farmhouse where I grew up. A kitten mewing can trigger memories of playing with the kittens in the old barn loft. The sight of a green kettle on a cupboard brings back nostalgic memories of walking into the old farm kitchen knowing that underneath that lid is rice pudding. And now, after smelling the Sea Cotton, I found myself back around the old kitchen table in the tiny apartment where we lived for one magical winter.

Driving Away

In just a few short hours DS will be driving away. For him, excitement is mounting. For me, my heart is preparing to burst out of the chest cavity.

We've been preparing for this day, in a strange way, since the day we brought him, as a newborn, home.

Every hug given and returned,
every lesson learned,
every mistake made,
every victory,
every tear shed,
every smile,
every step taken,
every moment of every day...

has led Dear Son to THIS day. This incredible, exciting, grown-up, marvellous journey of his life is finally here.

finally.

The roots have been established.
 Wings are taking flight.
The many prayers on his behalf have been and will continue to be prayed.
 Letting go is happening.
Seemingly overnight.

My tears are just under the surface.
Sad tears.
Proud tears.
Happy tears.
They will come,
I know.
But first I must let go.

Roots and wings.
Beginnings and endings and beginnings again.
I take comfort
that my child, now a young man,
is loved by the Lord.
Completely. Perfectly.  Sacrificially. Totally.
Loved.